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Feedback vs. Criticism: Softening the Blow

Getting feedback on both a personal and professional level is critical to people’s personal and professional development and growth. Yet many people are afraid to give feedback, probably because, if the feedback is not delivered in a thoughtful way, it may come across as criticism.

Feedback gone sideways can damage the interpersonal relationship between two people, but it doesn’t have to be that way. The person who’s providing feedback has to understand and internalize that there’s a clear difference between criticism vs. feedback. Namely, criticism is damaging and hurtful. There’s nothing positive about it. In contrast, feedback is beneficial, useful, and constructive. Feedback is given in the spirit of helping the other person succeed.

Also, keep in mind that feedback alone can’t have a positive result if the person on the receiving end doesn’t use it to change their behavior. Feedback doesn’t have to be all positive; it should be balanced. Often the most useful feedback includes constructive tips to help us do things differently or better. Genuine, valuable feedback provides the recipient with a clear and objective picture of what’s going well and what could be better in terms of their overall performance. Below, we’ll cover some effective methods to ensure that feedback is delivered in a way that is valuable and worthwhile to everyone involved.

Related: Managing Means Continuous Learning

What is Criticism

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, criticism’s definition is “the act of criticizing, usually unfavorably.” It’s an act that focuses almost exclusively on those things we don’t want. For example, you point out every mistake your employee made, but you make absolutely zero effort to point out how they could have performed better. Additionally, you don’t mention anything the person did right, or what you would like to see in the future from that employee. Your attitude and behavior were focused on the past and the negatives. That’s criticism, and that is demoralizing.

What is Feedback

On the other hand, feedback is defined by one of Oxford’s dictionaries as “Information about reactions to a product, a person’s performance of a task, etc. which is used as a basis for improvement.” You might immediately notice the difference between this definition and that of criticism above. Feedback is used as a foundation for improvement and given with positive intentions. It provides clarity about what you want in the future. Instead of focusing on weaknesses, feedback gives people an opportunity to help correct problematic areas while building on their strengths.

Judgment vs. Motivation

Criticism is judgmental. It’s all about pointing the finger and accusing the recipient of something negative. It’s about condemnation and saying, “Look what you did wrong.” There’s often an implication concerning the motives of the recipient. As a result, there’s the connotation that the recipient’s worth as an employee and as an individual is “less than” or that they’re not to be trusted.  This can quickly erode trust.

In stark contrast, feedback can be motivating and even inspirational when it doesn’t overwhelm the recipient with negativity and instead focuses on issues that can be changed. Feedback is never used as a personal attack, but rather to inform. The person giving the feedback should also take the opportunity to ask the recipient for their perspective. That can be incredibly motivating.  When someone is willing to help an employee reach or exceed expectations as part of a “team effort,” it puts feedback in a whole new light.

Related: Managerial Courage

Looking to build on your strengths by becoming an excellent listener, a sounding board, or an accountability partner? Contact us to learn more about Reverb’s leadership coaching options!

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Generalizations vs. Particular Behaviors 

Criticism often engages in character assassinations, generalizing things such as a person’s mentality, temperament, and even physical characteristics. It often makes broad, sweeping generalizations about things the person being criticized has little to no chance of changing or improving. 

On the other hand, feedback allows the superior to provide information on one or more specific behaviors upon which the recipient can improve. Often there are suggestions supplied as to what precisely the recipient can do to make things better. 

Prompting Defensiveness vs. Self Reflection

Criticism can feel threatening to the recipient. This is because it’s often delivered in an angry tone. The giver of criticism isn’t usually calm, rational, or kind. In fact, the recipient may often view the giver of criticism as rude, demanding, and intimidating. 

In contrast, feedback is almost always provided calmly, without the personal attacks on the recipient. Because the intent is entirely different from criticism, the recipient is less likely to feel attacked and is more likely to be open to understanding and acting upon suggested changes in behaviors or performance.

Past vs. Future

Remember that criticism points back at an action or event. It is often used to cast blame, shame the recipient, etc. Some might think that others learn by pointing out flaws in recent actions. However, again, this usually causes the recipient to become defensive. 

Feedback, on the other hand, looks to the future. It asks how the giver and the recipient can work together to overcome past challenges. 

Interested in one-on-one executive coaching in areas such as preparation for senior executive meetings, reframing issues, or building self-awareness? Check out options provided by Reverb today.

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Stating a Problem vs. Making it Better

Criticism focuses almost entirely on the problem. It points out the problem (often many times) without providing or suggesting a practical, workable solution. Feedback focuses on recognizing the problem and then working with the recipient to come up with ways to resolve issues, correct problems, and move forward. 

With feedback, the superior takes responsibility as much as the recipient, takes ownership (the buck stops with the authority figure), and turns feedback into an opportunity for recipients to learn, grow, and become better at their respective positions.

Giving the Best Feedback

Remember that the best feedback doesn’t tear down the recipient. Instead, it builds them up. If something negative needs to be addressed, concentrate on the recipient’s actions instead of threatening or shaming the individual. Whatever input you provide, make it actionable and specific. Be direct and honest. As much as you specifically point out problems, ensure that you clearly emphasize what the recipient is doing that’s right. If they have improved in any area, mention that and praise them for it. Never provide feedback based on third party information. 

Don’t lecture the recipient. Make it a mutual conversation. Give the recipient time to answer you. Pay attention to what the recipient has to say. This isn’t just an opportunity to unload frustrations (to criticize) the recipient. Pay attention to what isn’t said.

Sometimes professionals in leadership positions don’t know how to deal with specific issues, and they need concentrated leadership training. Reverb provides executive coaching on issues surrounding criticism and how to correctly provide feedback along with a much deeper understanding of the client’s motivations and way of working.

Good feedback that has the potential to bring about improvement follows these steps:

  1. Start with a clear identification of the standards of the job. If the employee’s job description has changed since you hired them, perhaps it’s best to start the review by confirming what you both understand to be the employee’s job requirements. You may uncover misunderstandings that need to be addressed.
  2. Objectively measure the extent to which your employee has met the standards of his/her job. Don’t bring up things that have nothing to do with their job, such as personal habits, unless they are in violation of the standards of the workplace.
  3. Identify areas for improvement, and offer ideas for solutions or tips. Use terminology that clearly explains the issue, but maintains a tone that conveys teamwork and support to help the employee will succeed. Give examples of new solutions to problems or communication breakdowns that may be occurring.
  4. Allow opportunities for feedback or clarification. A review should never be one way, and you will find the most success as a supervisor or manager if you maintain open channels of communication.
  5. Establish future goals. Where are we going from here? Provide clear steps that they can follow to quantify their progress and improvement. Inspire them with a vision for where they could be at your company in the future.

One of the most important keys to good feedback between a supervisor and employee is for you to have an open mind. In today’s professional workplace, employers often find that untraditional methods are increasing productivity and morale, both of which benefit business. Keep the channels of communication open for new ideas, new processes, and possibly, new workplace rules.

Giving The Best Criticism

Although we broke down the negative aspects of criticism above, constructive criticism can be helpful and necessary. There are situations where constructive criticism is a necessity. Here are some tips for providing constructive criticism simply and effectively.

Don’t Spring It On Them

Calling a meeting out of nowhere can cause employees to panic and feel intimidated when you’re offering constructive criticism. Make sure to schedule your session ahead of time and let them know what you want to discuss. Advanced notice will give the employee some time to prepare and reflect. 

Keep It Under Wraps

Never offer individual criticism in a group setting, mainly if it is a difficult conversation. Constructive criticism in a work setting needs to be done privately so that the employee doesn’t feel like you singled them out and so that they also have the time to work through the criticism and understand your point. Public displays of criticism often rush what you need to accomplish and can lead to destructive criticism. 

Be Specific

When giving constructive criticism, being clear and specific is critical. Arrive at the point concisely to avoid making the employee confused. List and describe any problematic behaviors and actions so that the employee knows exactly what you’re talking about. 

It’s Not Personal

As a manager and leader, it’s your job to focus on what the employee is doing and improve, not scrutinize the employee’s personality. It’s essential to know the distinction between letting an employee know how they aren’t as structured as necessary for their role and to call an employee disorganized. The first points out their objective actions, while the second makes a character assumption about the person. 

Incorporate Positivity

You should try to include positive components of the employee’s performance if relevant to the feedback you’re giving. You can help the worker understand what they’re doing well by emphasizing their strengths while pointing out improvement areas. This all comes together to form a cohesive unit of constructive criticism for a specific topic. Be cautious about putting positive feedback in the conversation solely for the sake of keeping things light. While positive feedback can make the employee more open to constructive criticism, it shouldn’t be the only reason you’re giving them praise and compliments. Avoid the “compliment sandwich”- sandwiching negative feedback between two positive comments- because it can come across as insincere. Giving positive feedback solely to offer it can also confuse the employee about what you’re talking about or make you seem uncertain as a leader.

Offer Ideas For Improvement

Provide some examples of how the employee behaved in a manner that could be improved and how they could have dealt with the situation instead. Explaining to an employee what they did wrong is only half of the equation for helping an employee improve their performance. The manager needs to come prepared with several concrete examples of how the employee could improve on handling past issues and solutions for how the employee can handle similar problems going forward.

It’s A Conversation

You can turn giving constructive criticism into an opportunity to coach and guide an employee. If the employee understands what you have to say and how they can continue to improve, there needs to be a genuine dialogue. The employee should feel comfortable explaining their side of the story and be curious about getting better. Sometimes you may even learn something new that will help you tailor your advice and feedback to the employee.

Looking for flexible, inclusive business consulting services? Work with Reverb today.

Final Thoughts 

Keep in mind that feedback shouldn’t be something the recipient dreads. As long as your intent is constructive and is used as a chance for the recipient to learn from past mistakes, providing feedback, or even constructive criticism, can be a good experience for everyone involved. Reverb is a top consulting company based on people operations. Work with Reverb to create a flexible, dynamic workplace today!

Related: Three Ways Working With a Coach Can Help You Land a Job You Love

 

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